From A Parent’s Perspective

By Dr. Vasti Holstun, PhD, LPC, NCC, NCSC

CCA Counselor Education and Supervision Liaison

In these uncertain times, ridden with anxiety and insecurity, it’s essential to look at the needs of children on the Autism spectrum. There are common misconceptions about this specific disability. Most people believe it is an emotional or behavioral disability. However, autism is a social disability, including social skills, social communication, and self-awareness. Because of these areas of disability, children with autism can have emotional and behavioral issues. Many children on the autism spectrum have a hard time connecting with others around them, and as a result, develop anxiety and have difficulty self-regulating.

Because of the imposed necessity of practicing social isolation, many of these children are missing essential services. They cannot go to school, where they receive occupational therapy, speech and language therapy, or support with academic and social skills. Their private therapies may be disrupted or reduced due to closures. While for many of us, social distancing is unpleasant. For children on the autism spectrum, it is downright detrimental. Not only do they tend to avoid social interaction. They thrive on being by themselves and indulging in solitary activities.

In this context, probably the most affected individuals are the parents. Parents of children on the autism spectrum are their greatest advocates, and their most important source of self-regulation and trusted social interaction. However, if parents are busy with their work (working from home) or depleted of personal resources because of missing out on their self-care, children with autism can be severely impacted.

It takes a certain amount of self-discipline to be able to work from home, help kids with homework, and not allow your children to keep quiet by spending most of the day glued to a screen. As a parent of a child with autism myself, I have had the challenge of monitoring my 10-year old son’s time with electronics. While we try to be gentle about it, we have had some outbursts when limiting screen time, from “I can’t believe we’re going for a walk again” to downright crying and sulking. Fortunately, he is better within 30 minutes.

One thing I’ve managed to squeeze in is a time to connect in the morning and at night, and during mealtime. We read in the morning, and we chat, and we cuddle. At night, we read together before bedtime. We try to take walks as a family and eat at least one meal together. This togetherness has some downsides (as in, too much of a good thing sometimes), but all in all, I am reminding myself that I am helping my child connect socially by helping him connect with me. His friends (also on the spectrum) from the school have attempted some video chatting, and that helps somewhat. But the time that we have in-person helps him focus on the here and now, alleviate anxiety, and provide connection and self-regulation. It helps me feel better too. As always, and as with any child, the parent needs to remember to repair the relationship. Yes, we are stressed out, and we may not be on our best behavior. Both children and parents can have difficulty with self-regulation. However, taking the time to reconnect and repair the relationship ensures that we can learn and grow during these difficult times.


On December 18th of 2007, the United Nations General Assembly set World Autism Day to occur on April 2nd of every year. On World Autism Day, we encourage our community and government to act in raising awareness about people with autism spectrum disorder and support the research finding new ways to improve wellness and inclusion.

Follow this link to learn more about autism.